A new baby is on the way!!! No, not for me, we're a long way off that at the moment and very content with our two gorgeous boys. But there is a newborn on the horizon nonetheless; my best girlfriend is about to welcome a little baby daughter in just a few short weeks.
For someone who's already a parent, it's often a time of wanting to pay it forward and return some of the support that we no doubt received with our own children. A lot of time, that giving back can involve practical and not-so-practical baby gifts, loads of advice (in many cases whether the mum-to-be wants it or not) and half a dozen offers of support.
"Let me know if you need anything!" and "Don't be shy, just call me" are two of the most common well-meaning phrases that can be thrown around.
However practical this may feel at the time, what a new mum really needs is for you to take action. She'll often be too exhausted and overwhelmed to actually ask for help so the best thing you can do is step in and do something before she needs to ask. And then back away. This is a special time for her and an exhausting one, so whatever help you do provide, do it without any expectations of social visit. There'll be plenty of time to catch up once things have settled down.
Before Baby Arrives:
- Gather up and drop off some menus from her local healthy takeaway stores. They'll always come in handy.
- Bookmark some of the best internet destinations for motherhood on her browser. Some great sites that I love include Ngala, Babycentre and Aha Parenting!
After Baby:
- Cook her a nutritious meal that can also be frozen and drop it off. Don't stay, just hand it to her with a smile and leave her to get some rest.
- Call or text her occasionally when you're at the grocery store to ask if she needs anything.
- Pop on a load of washing when you visit. And bring in/fold any washing that's dry before you leave.
- Let her know what day you run your errands. Tell her you'll pop past to pick up a list and any drycleaning, prescriptions or mail that needs attention and simply merge her jobs with yours during those early weeks.
- Bring her a basket of yummy nutritious snack foods. Yoghurts, dried and fresh fruits, wholegrain crackers, cheese and any other healthy favourites you can think of.
- Offer to take out her older children (if she has them). This way, she can enjoy some one-to-one time with her new baby or get some much needed rest.
- Drop off and return a movie you know she'll enjoy. There's a lot of time spent feeding and waiting for baby to wake in those early weeks; in-house entertainment is a must!
- Nurture her. Give her a hug, run her a bath and look after the baby while she has a nap.
- Offer to take her to her six week checkup. This can be an overwhelming and seemingly monumental task if she has to go alone. She may well appreciate the support.
On Top Of These Ideas, Don't Forget:
- Babies need stuff and a lot of it. A couple of thoughtful and practical baby gifts will always be welcome. These may be items that you loved or something that you feel will be perfect for this new mummy. My favourites are a 'NoseFrida - the snot sucker' and a packet of 'Rite-Aid Hydrogel Breast Discs'. Tuck those up with a couple of cute onesies or baby toys and you've got practical and sentimental rolled into one basket.
- A gift for the mum-to-be so that she can be pampered or a little bit spoilt. Think 'mummy-massage' gift vouchers, a gorgeous body lotion or simply a bunch of flowers.
Keep any unsolicited advice uplifting and non-specific. Her baby and motherhood experience may be completely different to yours.
Motherhood is a team sport, no-one ever need do it alone. And in fact, those that do may suffer undue hardship when their focus should on resting and getting to know their newborn baby. Remind her gently to relax and accept the love and support from other women around her, even if she feels uncomfortable at first. This is her time to receive and be self indulgent. Everything aside from her and her baby can wait.
No comments:
Post a Comment